Comparison
- Cathrine Schmelzer
- Jul 6
- 5 min read
“Moms, God created YOU to be YOU and He gave YOU the life YOU have.”
“Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.” 2 Corinthians 10:12
Comparison is something many moms struggle with, but something we don’t talk about enough. We may even think that we don’t struggle with it…but let me tell you. You do. The thing with comparison is that it can be sneaky. So no matter where you fall in this, whether you compare yourself a lot, or you compare yourself a lot but don’t realize it, stick with me and let’s dive into what the Bible says about comparison.
Comparison can be based on jealousy or discontentment —
“That mom’s house is so much nicer than mine”
“That mom looks so cute in hats, I can’t pull them off”
“Oh my gosh, look at that diaper bag (stroller, car, outfit)…I need it!”
Comparison can be based on unmet expectations —
“My house is never as clean as hers”
“My kids are not as well behaved as those kids”
“Why am I not making sourdough and collecting eggs from my free range chickens?”
Comparison can be based off of our own pride —
“Well at least my kids don’t do that thing”
“At least I have…unlike that mom”
“At least I’m able to…unlike that family”
But moms, its all dangerous, because it’s all rooted in a discontentment with what Jesus has blessed us with. It does something ugly in our hearts and distracts us away from what really matters, which is the calling Jesus has given us.
Our scripture today comes from a passage in which Paul is writing to those in ministry. I don’t want to take this scripture out of context, but I think it suits our purpose because we are also in ministry. If you are a mom, you have a built in ministry right in your home.
In this chapter, Paul urges those in ministry to not look at each other, to not look at the world, but to keep focused on Jesus. The well known scripture, “and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (verse 5) is even in this chapter. We are not to compare ourselves to what others in ministry (other moms) are doing. We are not to measure ourselves by one another. Paul says anyone who compares is without understanding, or some versions say they are not wise. By measuring ourselves by other moms we will either measure ourselves as better, and be boastful, or measure ourselves as less than, which creates envy and discontentment.
Moms, God created YOU to be YOU and He gave YOU the life YOU have. He created your talents, giftings, your personality, your looks. He’s given you blessings of your children, your finances, your stuff.
When we look at someone else and decide we need to have/be/do something different, it’s the same as telling God that He got us wrong. That we know better of how things should be.
Ouch. That is not the mindset I want to have. As Paul says, it’s an unwise mindset of misunderstanding. We are misunderstanding who we are in Christ. Instead of measuring and comparing, let’s remember “we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10)
Go to God with me:
God, thank You for creating me as Your workmanship, for creating me for good works. Show me the steps to do Your works and to walk in them. I know the most important work I can do is to bring my child(ren) to You. Thank You for giving me a built in ministry so I can show Your love right from my own kitchen table. Would You please look into my heart and show me what’s there? Specifically where I’m comparing and measuring myself to others. Help me to see myself as a child of Yours, that I don’t need to look to the world’s standards, but only at who You made me to be. And if I compare myself to anyone, let it be to Jesus, to show His love, to mimic His deeds, and to live the way He lived. I love You, and I’m so grateful to You. Amen.
Moms, don’t forget to listen to this month’s podcast on comparison, out today!
Faith Follow-Through:
This week, take some time to grow in motherhood and faith:
Wednesday:
Today, reflect on how comparison has affected your heart. Proverbs 14:30 says, “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” Maybe your comparison doesn’t create envy, but (and this is my own opinion) I think the word “envy” could be replaced with “comparison” in general, and the proverb is still true. Ask God to reveal where you’ve been comparing. Really sit in this and ask Him to show you something you haven’t noticed about yourself. Whatever He reveals to you, counter the comparative thoughts with truth that God says about you.
If you have time and are interested in the theology behind the scripture for the week, listen to this 10 minute commentary on 2 Corinthians 10 on Through The Word. It’s very helpful in understanding what God wants for us instead of comparing ourselves to others.
Thursday:
Ok moms, we have lots of thoughts every day. The mental load of motherhood is so heavy. And some of those thoughts, like the examples I gave on Tuesday, are lies that come when we compare ourselves to others, whether we realize we’re doing it or not.
“Wow, she’s really put together today” - this thought makes us think we’re less put together. And maybe we are less put together by Instagram’s standards. But does that mean we’re “less than”? No!
“My friend got up this morning, spent quiet time with Jesus, then made her kids breakfast that wasn’t from a box.” - this might make us believe that we’re doing something wrong, but did Jesus tell us to do those things? No.
Remember when I mentioned that 2 Corinthians Chapter 10 has that very well known verse? Let’s read it.
Verse 5, “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”
Moms, notice those thoughts, because they spread sneaky lies into your mind. Sometimes you don’t even realize it’s happening. Then replace the lie with truth. You are who God made you to be, mom friend.
Friday:
Our mission at Motherhood Meets Faith is to connect moms to grow in motherhood and faith, together.
Together.
We grow better when we’re “watered” by friends who are growing in faith and motherhood alongside us.
A Jesus-loving friend can remind us of truth and build us up when we’re tearing ourselves down. She can be the voice of God that the Holy Spirit speaks through when we’ve gotten distracted by comparison to the world.
When we think, “But I’m not doing as well as that mom”, our friend might say, “But look at all you’ve accomplished. You were made to be a mom.”
We might think, “My house isn’t as nice as hers” and she’ll say, “But your house is so filled with love an laughter.”
But we have to let that friend in.
The immediate next step after talking to God about struggles with comparison is to reach out to a trusted, Jesus-loving friend and share what is going on in our hearts. Or maybe it’s our friend that is struggling and we can be the Jesus-loving friend to remind her of who God made her to be.
So what’s your next step today? Have you identified a place in your life where you’re spending too much time comparing? Go to God, and reach out to a friend. Maybe a friend is struggling with comparing herself to something or someone. Build her up today.
Written by Cathrine, mom of 4
