Why Am I Like This?
- Alisen Bigerton
- Jun 28, 2024
- 2 min read
“Though we are imperfect people living in an imperfect world, sin no longer defines us and our sinful human nature no longer controls our destiny.”
“I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” Romans 7:15 (NLT)
This verse often feels like the summary of life. I want to be patient, but I am often the opposite. I want to be the salt of the earth, yet often I seem to be salty toward everyone on the earth. I want to have an eternal perspective, but I'm often focused on the temporary. I desire a correct view of myself and others, but I consistently either let pride take the lead or give in to self-deprecation. The list, for me, goes on for miles, which leads me to ask, almost daily, Why am I like this?
Paul states in Romans that he wholeheartedly loves God's law, but another force inside of him is at war with his mind. This is true for us, too. There is a constant tension between our sinful nature and the part of us that wants to do God's will, between our old and new selves. The battle can leave us worn, weary, and feeling wretched. But though this spiritual and mental fight is intense, we have hope.
In verses 24-25, Paul writes, “...Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.”
In Jesus, we can have freedom from the laws of sin and death. Though we are imperfect people living in an imperfect world, sin no longer defines us and our sinful human nature no longer controls our destiny. Instead of punishment, we receive grace and mercy from a God who delights in us coming to Him and gives us His very own Spirit to empower us. Take heart, beloved mamas; though the battle inside continues, our Savior has won the war.
Action Steps:
Invite God into every aspect of your life and remind yourself of who He says you are. This is part of arming yourself for the fight.
Check out the song “Felix Culpa” by Kings Kaleidoscope for what I hope will be an encouraging presentation of the battle with sin.
Prayer: God, I truly want to do what's right, but I can't deny that I consistently fall short. The internal battle between good and evil is inevitable, and there's no way I can win on my own. Please help me draw nearer to You and empower me to be obedient. Thank You for giving me hope through Jesus. Amen.
Written by Alisen, mom who doesn't understand herself