Who Knows Best?
- Cathrine Schmelzer
- Jul 6
- 3 min read
“If we’re going to be the moms - or the anything - God wants us to be, we have to give up our own way.”
‘Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me.”’ Matthew 16:24
There seem to be countless ideas and opinions on how to live, and more specifically, on parenting. Everyone, from mommy bloggers and childhood development experts, to family and in-laws, has an idea of how our kids should be raised. With so many voices in our face screaming their opinions, how do we decide who to heed? I think it comes down to who we think knows best.
It's so easy to think we know how to best raise our children. After all, we (most likely) gave birth to them. We have been there since the beginning, seen every stage, and gotten to know our kids’ personalities well. We've had time to develop our own parenting styles based on what we know. And culture is always telling us moms know best when it comes to their kids, period. But what if that's not the case?
My way of parenting has been back and forth between too lax and unrealistically high expectations. Between gentleness and empathy and firm, honestly, harsh communication. I've ridden the pendulum from “Why are you expecting my kid to act and develop like yours; they're completely different people” to “We should be further along than this”. It's a trial and error that constantly leaves me at the end of my rope, not knowing what to do. God's way is firm but gentle, full of grace and truth, and seasoned with salt.
His way is how I become the mom I want to be.
The difficulty and hard truth is that we can't have both God's way and ours. If we’re going to be the moms - or the anything - God wants us to be, we have to give up our own way. We can't receive His wisdom when we hold on to our own understanding. We can't receive and reflect His mercy while keeping frustration, His grace while holding judgment. We can't live out His calling and model obedience to our children while maintaining a death grip on our own methods and desires. And while letting go is difficult, even excruciating at times, it is in our surrendering that God can do things we could never even imagine.
Faith Follow-Through:
This week, take some time to grow in motherhood and faith:
Monday: Reflect on how Jesus denied Himself and took up His cross, both literally and metaphorically. Let His example be an encouragement and practical guide.
Tuesday: Ask God where you are holding onto your own knowledge and desires in parenting and life in general. Bring to Him your plans, goals, and desires. Then ask Him to show you His will and help you to live it out, knowing that His way is better.
Wednesday: Think about the direction you want your kids’ lives to take. Go to God with everything you desire for them. Ask God to clearly direct their steps, no matter how big or small they seem, and to help you support their calling.
Thursday: Spend some time reflecting and journaling what God has been speaking to you this week. Write down any answers you’ve received from God, any wisdom He’s given you, any insights that have been revealed to you while reflecting on this verse and talking to God this week. Come back to this every time you need to re-surrender your life to Jesus. Listen to “Make Room” by Meredith Andrews
Written by Alisen, a mom who is trying to let go
