Not Your Mama’s Motherhood
- Cathrine Schmelzer
- Jun 14
- 4 min read
“We have the opportunity to make our own choices, make our own paths, and change our families for the better.”
“The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself. But if a wicked person turns away from all his sins that he has committed and keeps all my statutes and does what is just and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions that he has committed shall be remembered against him; for the righteousness that he has done he shall live.” Ezekiel 18:20-22 ESV
I grew up without knowing Jesus. I was blessed to be part of a family where I knew I was loved, but we had some bad habits. I think the best way to describe the atmosphere of my childhood is that there was just a lack of Spiritual fruit. Again, I was far from abused or neglected, but it wasn’t the abundant life Jesus wanted for me.
What was your childhood like? Did your parents love Jesus? Your grandparents? Did you go to church? Did you experience Spiritual fruit, or the opposite?
Humans tend to pick up habits and mannerisms from those around them, and even will mimic those they spend the most time with. As a child, usually that’s going to be their parents. And I was no exception to that rule. I remember when I left for college, my roommate (who, luckily, was my best friend from high school, not some poor random girl that had to put up with me) pointed out some of my bad habits to me. My negativity. My bad tone when talking to her. My terrible attitude. It was the first time I had actually seen what kind of habits had been ingrained in me, outside of my home.
What about you? Has anyone, whether a friend, family member, or God, ever lovingly (or maybe not lovingly?) pointed out something in you that needed to change? Something that you picked up from the way you were raised?
This passage from Ezekiel serves as a sobering reminder, and gives us hope for a new future. It reminds us that our parents choices aren’t an excuse for bad choices we make. When I was 18 I’m sure I made all the excuses for myself. Maybe I responded to my friend with, “That’s just how I was raised. That’s just how I am because that’s how my parents talked to me. I don’t know how to be any different because negative is all I know.”
But there’s hope for every child drowning in bad generational habits. Verse 21 says, “But if a wicked person turns away from all his sins that he has committed and keeps all my statutes and does what is just and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die.” We are responsible for our own lives. Jesus so graciously and lovingly called me by name and sent me His Spirit and made me new. When I was preparing to write this devotional, the verse from last week kept coming to my mind (even before last’s weeks devotional was published…God is just good like that). 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.”
Moms, we are not our moms, our dads, grandparents, care givers, siblings, aunts, uncles, teachers, or whoever it is that we picked up habits from, good or bad. We have the opportunity to make our own choices, make our own paths, and change our families for the better. When we choose the path Jesus has for us, we are NEW CREATIONS.
Moms, this week let’s pray that we choose righteousness. Let’s pray that we turn away from sin, keep God’s statutes and do what is just and right.
This week we’ll dive deeper into what we want to do differently.
Faith Follow-Through:
This week, take some time to grow in motherhood and faith:
Tuesday:
This past Friday, the online community had an in-person meet up to discuss this topic. I want to challenge you with the same questions we discussed there.
The first question I want you to reflect on is: What is one habit you picked up from your family that you DO NOT want to pass to your children?
I’m not asking this in judgement, not asking you to throw your mom under the bus, not even suggesting you had a bad childhood. But take some time to reflect and ask yourself if there’s even something small that you want to change.
Go to God. Talk to Him about this. Ask Him to challenge you. Ask Him what He wants you to change. Talk to Him about what comes to your mind, ask Him to make you a new creation and to show you your next steps.
Wednesday:
This past Friday, the online community had an in-person meet up to discuss this topic. I want to challenge you with the same questions we discussed there.
The second question I want you to reflect on is: What is one thing you DO want your children to learn from you?
It could be something you picked up in your childhood or something new that you’re still working on.
Go to God. Tell Him about it. Ask for His guidance. Ask for His opinion. Ask Him to show you your next steps to make sure your children learn that thing from you. Spend time thanking God for your children and asking to be a good steward of them.
Thursday:
What do you want to be remembered for? In 5, 10, 20 years, when your children are talking about you…what do you want them to say? Finish the following sentence:
“My mom wasn’t perfect…but she _____.”
Go to God today and ask Him to show you the way to be remembered for that. Ask Him for specific steps you can take to live out what you want to be remembered for.
Written by Cathrine, mom of 4 new creations
