Not So Picture Perfect
- Cathrine Schmelzer
- Oct 5
- 4 min read
“Don’t waste your peace wishing for someone else’s filtered life.”
“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.” Galatians 6:4
The comparison game can knock the wind right out of you in motherhood.
Motherhood is one of the most revered and sacred callings in the world. From Mary, the mother of Jesus, to modern-day voices like Lila Rose, we are imprinted with the beauty, power, and weight of this holy estate. As Andy Stanley says, “Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do, but someone you raise.”
It’s noble.
It’s of high value.
It’s a joy.
But it can also feel like a battlefield, especially when you’re doing it under extreme lack, in emotional isolation, or with a heart weighed down by silent suffering.
Maybe your spouse is battling mental illness. Maybe moral failures have shattered your home. Maybe the peace you pray for daily never quite seems to arrive. And maybe you feel like you’re white-knuckling your way through each day, showing up not because it’s easy—but because you love.
Meanwhile, everywhere you look are families that seem to have it all together: the shared teamwork in parenting, happy traditions, Instagram smiles. It can feel like everyone else is thriving… while you are barely surviving.
But here’s what I’ve learned—deep in the trenches, with tears on my pillow and prayers that felt like whispers in the night.
God sees you, and He will fight for you. Exodus 14:14 says, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” When no one else saw what I was carrying, God did. When I couldn’t speak my pain, He understood. Looking back, I now realize how strategically and faithfully God fought for me and my sons—even when I was too exhausted to recognize it in real time.
Stay close to Him. Stay on the high road. He wars for those who walk in obedience. Even if it feels like nothing is changing, keep doing what’s right. He is not idle.
Comparison will deceive you—it’s a mirage. There were families I used to ache over, wishing for their picture-perfect life. But years later, I learned that what looked ideal on the outside was marked by quiet devastation within. I had spent emotional energy coveting a mirage. Don’t waste your peace wishing for someone else’s filtered life.
Never forget you have more spiritual power than you realize. The enemy wants you to believe you are powerless. But Scripture says otherwise. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” I learned to pray specifically and boldly: for wisdom, for strength, for divine strategy in raising my boys. I fasted. I worshiped through my tears. I turned to Scripture and surrounded myself with voices of truth and healing. I didn’t need to be loud to be powerful. God can make us wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove (Matthew 10:16). Our prayers shift the atmosphere.
After I was catapulted out of a very hard marriage, I worried deeply about my children, especially after they experienced rejection from their father. In a session with my counselor, I asked, “Is one good parent enough?”
The answer was simple: Yes.
You may not be able to control everything your children experience, but you can be their anchor, their refuge, their example of godliness and strength. You can show them that peace is possible, even in pain. That joy can exist, even when life is messy.
You are not forgotten. You are not less-than. You are not failing.
You are seen, fought for, and empowered.
Keep walking the high road. Keep praying. Keep loving.
God is writing a legacy through your faithfulness.
Written by Phyllis, mom of 3
Faith Follow-Through:
This week, take some time to grow in motherhood and faith:
Monday:
This topic can be so heavy, but it’s so important to reflect on. What stuck out to you in today’s reading? Talk to God about it, and ask Him to reveal to you what He wants to reveal.
Tuesday:
Make time today to listen to the newest episode of the Motherhood Meets Faith Podcast, “Great Expectations”
Wednesday:
This month we are going to unpack our expectations. We have so many unnecessary expectations that we place on ourselves as moms, but we don’t have to live that way. Taking the time to unpack them, challenge them and ourselves, and then to replace them with God’s truth will be a huge gift, not only to yourself but to your children.
Today, start a list. Put it somewhere you can come back to it, add to it, pray over it, all month. What are the expectations you have placed on yourself? Not things God has told you to do, things you think you should be doing, maybe because you’ve compared yourself to other families, or because of something you’ve seen on social media, or maybe even just because that was the way you were raised. Remember, your list won't be “right or wrong” and it doesn’t need to be perfect. You can add and subtract items as God reveals more and shows you more.
Pray over your list. This week, this month, as God speaks to you, make a second column and replace your expectations with what God says.
Thursday:
God is our creator and knows everything about us, including all the unnecessary expectations we’ve placed upon ourselves.
Start today by praying Psalm 139 back to the Lord.
If you don’t already have a rhythm of Bible reading, start today. God reveals Himself to us through His Word. MMF founder, Amy Brown, says “The Bible is the purest and most purposed space for molding expectations”. God’s Word is where you will find truth to replace your expectations with.
As God reveals more of Himself to you, as He reveals what’s in your heart, don’t forget to go back to your “Expectation List” to add to it, make notes and to write down what He’s showing you.
