Healthy Boundaries for Your Words

“These are the boundaries I have in my life and my home… the ‘guard’ I have over my mouth.”

“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3 (NIV)

Words have always been my biggest fault… struggle… downfall. I grew up in a home with 5 siblings who used their words to cause as much damage as possible every chance they got. This was all I knew. So when I got married and had kids, the Holy Spirit had to come and rewire SO much of my brain. I have grown and learned so much… but I am still learning and humbled every single day. I am grateful for my past because it has made me more mindful of this subject in my present.

We have the power of life and death on our tongue. We can speak life into our children, or death. 

A couple years ago my kids and I did the rice experiment. We cooked rice and placed it in 3 different containers in the fridge. One was labeled “good”, one “bad”, and the other was not labeled. Everyday we would bring out the rice and speak over it. The good one, we spoke life, positivity and kind things. To the bad one, negative and cruel things. The one that wasn’t labeled was just ignored and left in the fridge. By the end of these 30 days of doing this, the bad rice was covered in mold and smelled so bad. The good one was still fresh. The ignored one smelled bad and was a little yellow. Through this experiment, we got to actually visualize how our words affect RICE. How much more can our words affect a living, breathing, soul? I think I learned more than my kids did from that project. 

My goals for the words I speak over my children are to encourage, to love, and to ask for forgiveness every time I need it. I build my children up, remind them constantly of my love for them, and when I fall short with my words, I am so quick to apologize. I also remind my kids frequently of the power their words to each other have. We are very strict about what words we are not allowed to say. These are the boundaries I have in my life and my home… the “guard” I have over my mouth. But even with these rules, I still need the help of the Holy Spirit every single day. Words can cause so much damage, and once they are said you can’t take them back. So we desperately need God to keep watch over the door of our lips!!!

Action Steps:

• Do you have boundaries or rules for the words spoken in your home? Take a moment to sit down with your spouse or just consider on your own… what things you want to allow. What your main boundaries are when it comes to the words you speak. Make this a part of your family vision or motto. Having clear boundaries is so helpful, for us and our kids!

Written by Rachel, momma of 3 on her 3rd cup of coffee!