A Broken Woman to Healed Mama

“I wish I knew the name of the woman that visited the well, because I’m convinced it started with an ‘A’.”

“Then, leaving her water jar,” John 4:28a

It’s quiet in my kitchen at this early hour. Husband is at work, which means it’ll be several hours until his arrival back to the homestead. All three kids are still snoozing, as it’s the start of summer break. I busy my hands with food, Bible open on the counter, while turning my thoughts to Him. Lately, I’ve been mentally revisiting places that immediately make me feel shame. Places from my past, my younger years pre-mamahood, that were also before Jesus. I visit these places when I feel like I’m failing. I think about parenting and the lacking of it all and how these places put me in a position of undeserving. 

I wish I knew the name of the woman that visited the well, because I’m convinced it started with an “A”. This woman in John 4 went to the well to retrieve water at midday, the hottest part of the day. She did this because of the shame she carried with her there. She has a past that she’s not proud of and, like a revolving door she doesn’t know how to exit, she just continues on. The jar she was carrying was heavy, filled not with water but of her wrong choices, her past. 

But Jesus met her there on this particular day. She walked up to the well, defeated. Jesus told her all of the things of her past and released her from them ALL, right then and there! Can you imagine that freedom she was feeling?! She was so free and so excited, that she left her jar…

That’s the most important part of this story. Her jar. Her past. She left it there. 

She went into the town and told everyone that she thought she just met the Messiah. She was so convincing that the townspeople followed her back there to see Jesus. 

The jar long forgotten. 

She didn’t pick it back up. She was free from it. 

Sometimes I go back for my jar. I pick it up and parent from a place in my past. Jesus met me there all those years ago and freed me from it, yet sometimes I feel obligated to carry it around. 

The truth of it is, Jesus chose this lady to leave her jar that day BECAUSE of her past. She would have the most impact on those around her. He knew that because of her past, because of her choices, because of the state she was in, she would do the best kingdom work. Yes and Amen. 

Action steps:

• Today, let’s ask Jesus to meet us wherever we are. Even if you’re in a place of healed wholeness, ask for a reminder to leave that jar right where it is, just to make sure. And if you’re in a place of needing repairs, ask for extra loving reassurance that you are not your past, you are the future of Jesus. 

• Write a list of things that filled your jar from your past that you can’t let go of, or you keep picking back up. Pray over it and ask God to reveal to you how you can glorify the kingdom with that list. 

• Listen to CityAlight - His Glory and My Good (Live)

Prayer: Father, can You smack the jar right out of our hands when we reach down to pick it back up? Please and thank You. Help us to examine what once filled the jar for what we can use it for to glorify Your Kingdom, and not to convince our brains to condemn us with those things. Give us the perspective that we are mama-ing from a healed place, and let that be so evident to our kids. Oh, please let them see the healing You’ve done in us. Amen. 

Written by Abbey, a broken woman to healed mama

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