No Anger, Just Love
- Cathrine Schmelzer
- Oct 8, 2024
- 2 min read
“We must discipline our children, not in anger, but in love. In a way that reflects and points our children to Jesus, and surrounds them with instruction of the Lord.”
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4
In parenting, teaching, training, whatever we call what we do as mothers, it’s so hard to please everyone all the time. In Ephesians, we're warned not to provoke our children, which makes me wonder if Paul ever gave a toddler the wrong cup, asked a kid to put dishes away or told a teen they can't go to an event. But all jokes aside, I know those situations are not what Paul was referring to.
This verse comes from a part of the Bible in which Paul is describing healthy, biblical relationships. A parent’s correction is always better received in the context of a healthy, respectful relationship, rather than one full of anger.
But I'm not writing today to criticize parenting styles. I do, however, want to write you some encouragement for the next thing Paul said. "Bring them up in discipline and instruction of the Lord". Moms, what a wise goal for us.
Proverbs is full of reasons why wisdom, instruction and discipline from God are all so important. The theme of the first three Proverbs (disclaimer: this is my opinion, and I am not a biblical scholar) seems to be "the wise fear the Lord".
I want my children to fear the Lord. Here's why.
To those who are upright, righteous, those who walk in integrity and fear the Lord, He gives wisdom, He teaches them to lean on Him, and is a shield to them. The Lord's wisdom and knowledge encourage His people to remember His teachings and keep His commands. We don't need to lean on our own understanding because we know that His ways are better. (All of this paraphrased from Proverbs 1, 2 and 3) Moms, don’t we want that for our children?
We must discipline our children, not in anger, but in love. In a way that reflects and points our children to Jesus, and surrounds them with instruction of the Lord. We do this by making God the authority in our lives, in our homes, and in our children’s lives. Allowing God to guide, to teach, to discipline not just us, but our families as a whole will give our children foundations that will hold for the rest of their lives.
Action Steps:
Reflect: how is the discipline in your family? What is your overall goal? Do your children feeling the love of Jesus surrounding them?
Over the next few days, take time to read the first three Proverbs
Prayer: God, I want my children to know You, know Your love and know your instruction. Use me to be their guide, to discipline them the way You would discipline, and to surround them with your instruction. I ask that You be the ultimate authority in our house and lives. In your name I ask these things, amen.
Written by Cathrine, mom of 4