Difficult People

“I didn’t do it expecting a tangible blessing to occur; I did it because He demanded me to, and who am I to disobey Him?”

 “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8 ESV

Have you ever had a church service change the trajectory of your life? I have! 

One Sunday I heard a message that taught about agape love. Agape love is the type of love that a person can have for anyone. It is “pure, willful, sacrificial love that intentionally desires another’s highest good.” 

It was on this Sunday I was CONVICTED. I knew God was speaking to me through this sermon. He could not have been clearer if He’d been holding up a blaring neon sign saying “LISTEN, JESSICA.” 

During service, this question was asked: Who is the difficult person in your life, and are you showing that person love?

Immediately, I thought of my ex-husband, Kaleb. Our relationship was ‘strained professionalism’ at best. While we never argued in front of our son, we certainly did not show one another much kindness, let alone love. 

I did some serious thinking and praying that day. I wrestled. A lot. “Seriously God? You know all the things he did and all the misery I felt. You know the suffering I went through. How could You say I need to show him love???? If anything, he should show me love.” 

Then I took a long, hard, HUMBLING look at the way I’d been treating Kaleb. Not much about the way I behaved could be considered Christ-like. 

In Micah 6 (The Message translation), it says, “It is quite simple: do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don’t take yourself too seriously- take God seriously.”

I knew that my neighbor wasn’t only referring to my loved ones. It refers to anyone and everyone, even my ‘horrible’ ex-husband. I also knew darn well that God holds me to a certain standard, that I’m to glorify Him in all that I do, and to exemplify Christ. 

I’d let my anger, hurt, arrogance, and quite frankly my PRIDE win. I felt I was justified in my behavior. I thought maintaining a status quo of ‘strained professionalism’ with my ex-husband was fine, and that he didn’t deserve any kindness from me, and certainly not any love. 

On that day, I made a promise to God. I promised that I’d put my self-righteousness and anger behind me and cast my fears to God.

I trusted God. I listened to Him. I changed myself. I didn’t do it expecting a tangible blessing to occur; I did it because He demanded me to, and who am I to disobey Him?

But you know what happened? By walking humbly with God, by not taking myself too seriously, and by prioritizing God, He blessed me immensely nonetheless. Today, Kaleb and I have a kind, friendly, caring relationship. We happily take our son places together, and we actually enjoy the time spent together. 

I listened when God called me to change my heart, and by obeying I’ve been able to not just change my life, but my son’s life too! Knox is being filled with positive, happy, healthy memories of his mom and dad together, but even more importantly, I’m modeling Jesus to my son. And after all, isn’t that what motherhood is all about?

Action Steps:

• Who is the difficult person in your life that came to mind while you were reading? What is holding you back from loving them like Jesus? (Disclaimer: this is not to be applied to a situation that could become unsafe, such as an abusive relationship)

• Write down the name of that person, write down what is holding you back, and pray over it. Ask God to make clear to you the specific way in which He wants you to show love toward that difficult person. And when God calls you to do it, act on it, momma.

Written by Jessica, mom of 1

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